19 de mayo de 2008

-Yo soy Abdón Calderon, el héroe niño-

Creo que ninguno de nosotros va a olvidar la historia que nos contaron nuestras maestras de la primaria cuando se acercaba el 24 de Mayo.

Para los que desconocen la leyenda pues: Dícese que el 24 de Mayo de 1822, en plena Batalla de Pichincha asomó un muchacho de 15 años que peleaba por la independencia de su país.
El niño subía por la montaña, llevando la bandera del Ecuador para plantarla en el tope y así lograr su independencia. Cuando depronto... Un cañonazo mutiló su pierna derecha, el niño no se rindió y continuó subiendo, y de pronto otro cañonazo mutiló su brazo izquierdo, el niño de nuevo, no se dio por vencido y siguió subiendo. El siguiente cañonazo, lo dejó sin su pierna izquierda, y el último cañonazo mutiló su brazo derecho.
El niño no se rindió... Continuó subiendo, con la bandera en la boca, y al alcanzar la cima, gritó:
¡VIVA EL ECUADOR!



La verdadera historia es que sí, existió un muchacho llamado Abdón Calderón, cuencano, quien luchó en la Batalla del Pichincha el 24 de Mayo de 1822.
Es verdad que tenía 15 años. Y es verdad que recibió muchos balazos (léase B-A-L-A-Z-O-S no C-A-Ñ-O-N-A-Z-O-S).
El niño "héroe" no podría haber gritado ¡Viva el Ecuador! ya que el Ecuador se conformó como tal en 1830. Y por último el héroe niño murió de disentería (léase D-I-A-R-R-E-A).

Dicen que todo país necesita sus héroes, cuando propuse este tema en el Últimas Noticias, tuve un comentario que dice que se parece a el capítulo de los Simpsons en que descubren que Jeremias Springfield era una farsa...

Pero yo me pregunto... ¿No es suficiente ya que el muchacho se haya atrevido a confrontarse contra como 8 mil peruanos a los 15 años? ¿No es ya lo suficientemente valiente? ¿Por qué tenemos que mutilarlo y masacrarlo para que llegue a ser héroe?

La profesora del Demoño volvió a contarle la misma historia de siempre a todo el grado del enano.... Al día siguiente fui a confrontarla... Y ella respondió lo mismo que el muchacho del comentario en el periódico "todo país necesita sus héroes"... ¿Pero por qué construir la heroicidad de un país con tanta mentira?

Como siempre... terminé contandole la verdadera historia a mi Enano... Hoy en la mañana en el minuto cívico noté su primer acto de rebeldía...
Tenía que decir la frase: "Yo soy Abdón Calderon, el héroe niño" y el Demoño terminó diciendo frente a toda la escuela "Yo soy Abdón Calderón, el héroe niño, y me morí con diarrea"
la mamá del Demoño detrás de todos los alumnos cagada de la risa...

104 comentarios:

Guillermex dijo...

Agrego otro dato importante... En los libros de historia, se lo representa a abdon calderón con la bandera del ecuador.

Pues, de ser verdad, el man no hubiera enarbolado la tricolor, ya que esa bandera aun no se "inventaba"..

De ser así la bandera que hubiera flameado hubiera sido la de guayaquil, ya que de guayaquil fue que partieron las tropas hacia las faldas del pichincha.

En fin.. es toda una maraña de mentiras como las de Jeremías Springfield

Ludovico dijo...

me acabas de hacer cagar de risa, y darme un par de buenas ideas para un post. merci.

oytes, y eso que conversaste con los tocayos y el albo, como va?

Atrapasueños dijo...

pagaria por haber visto eso... juas!!!

yo misma dijo...

Bien dicho carajo!!!! Pero es que aún no entiendo porque no recalcar que nuestra historia tiene personajes de verdad para quitarse el sombrero, qué manía con el Abdón!!!!

Albián Pinzón dijo...

"yo soy simon bolivar. era un pendenciero. me volví masón. luego ya no me gustó ser masón. por eso, morí en la miseria."

bipolar dijo...

El verdadero afán está en que el ser humano necesita, no de héroes únicamente, sino de aquel personaje mítico al cual le puede atribuir más de un antagonismo personal. (Sabías que Abdón Calderón esto o aquello, y no se hable de seres con más misticismo, aún -músicos, revolucionarios, el cocinero que murió en el 9/11 o aquel gringo que le cogió el tráfico y murió atrancado tiempo después con un pedaso de pastel-: se tejera la blablablaraña, historias como el etcétera: hijas del viento).

Quien tiene el poder sabe que la única manera de perpetuarlo es falseando la realidad, atando en general a uno mismo, y en particular a los demás: la mentira. Se debe exterminar la discrepancia, el cisma, la oposición. Así todo funciona.

"Quien controla el presente controla el futuro. Quien es dueño del pasado controla el presente." Lo dijo Orwell no?. Qué sería de nosotros si en vez de aprender la historia del 24 de mayo de mil novecientos ..qué te digo yo... aprendemos de los "héroes" del pasado que convivieron entre sus némesis y vieron que estaba bien.

Mientras sigamos celebrando la liberación del yugo español (y los aviones de Iberia sigan repletos de compatriotas, héroes de la miseria, Abdones a los cuales ni la disentería se atreve a enfrentar), lo demás seguirá tal cual se dispuso y LA UNIDAD HACE LA FUERZA quedará para títulos de Fábulas de Esopo.

La idea de verle al Benjamín en el acto cívico del 10 de agosto (puto régimen sierra, no lo permitirá!)me da ganas de reir con anticipación. JaJaJa!. (Se te respira a ratos Gaby!)

Anónimo dijo...

Nuestra educación es terrible, cuando yo estaba en 1er grado la profesora nos contó la misma historia de la Batalla del Pichincha, y como mi viejo me había contado la real me puse de pie y le dije "Señorita, eso no es así, la historia es ....". Al otro día tuvieron que ir mis papás a explicar mi "acto de rebeldía" y la razón por la que "hice quedar mal a la profesora". La tipa esta tuvo que pedir perdón, jejeje.
Bien por tu demoño!

Ursus Andinus dijo...

Sólo una presición estimada La Gaby!!!
8mil peruanos???
el 24 de mayo era contra los realistas; y las tropas que salieron desde Chillogallo se jugaron el todo por el todo contra los defensores de los españoles, que irónicamente no tenían tantos españoles...

Sólo como dato extra, los que pelearon aguerridamente fue el batallón Albión, conformado por soldados ingleses; y esa parte de la historia también se la callan...

Y de vuelta al niño héroe, fueron 4 heridas según la historia y el "parte médico", puede que no todos hayan sido balazon, sino también trozos de metralla por el impacto de una bala de cañón cerca de donde se encontraba; y pues si, murió en el Hospital San Juan de Dios (actual Museo de la Ciudad)...

Saludos

Natyco dijo...

YA LOS DEMAS HAN DICHO TODO, GRAN PERSONAJE EL DEMOÑO!!! DE TAL PALO TAL ASTILLA!!!

Tofu - sensei dijo...

Dentro de unos años más terminarán diciendo que Abdoncito era descendiente de los míticos saiyajines y que con la espada que tenía en la boca mató más enemigos que todo un batallón.
Sigamos metiendo mentiras a nuestros niños, joder.
Benja, te ganaste un chocolatote!!

Albián Pinzón dijo...

a veces hay que dejar que se equivoquen. algo que he aprendido es que los más viejos que nosotros tienen razón en contadas con los dedos ocasiones. probablemente nuestros hijos sabrán más cosas que nosotros a sus edades. ¿tendremos la humildad para aceptar eso?

Pitonizza dijo...

Justo iba a hacer el simil con Jeremias Springfield pero te me adelantaste.

Este 24 de mayo mi hermosa negrita cumple 5 años de alegrar mi vida. Espero ser digna de admiración, pues ella cree que yo soy su "heroína"

Suerte la de tu demoño de contar con una madre pilas como tú.

Jimmy dijo...

Ojala que si algún dia soy padre tenga un hijo revelde.
Que fracaso en la educacion de hoy en dia (y de antes tambien) creo que por eso esta sociedad se cree cualquier cosa que escucha y no se pone a investigar y a opinar con un criterio formado

Saludos

Pitonizza dijo...

Gaby, este mal elemento ahora vendrá a joderte, por favor, elimina de raíz su estúpido comentario, no le contestes, y si no es mucha molestia para ti y tus lectores, pon moderación de comentarios.

Sorry... este idiota anda buscando donde escribo para derramar su odio.

Minmey dijo...

querida.. soldados españoles o proespañoles.. no peruanos linda.. pero si.. tienes toda la jodida razòn.. ave demoño niño heroe de la educaciòn bàsica

Au Pair dijo...

ah que lindo niño.. pero o yo tengo una laguna mental o no se donde estudiaron mis profesoras que yo no me acuerdo de la historia de los balazos y el viva el Ecuador! pero bueno lo que me hiciste recordar es que cada año el 24 de mayo, salia a la papeleria a comprar las famosas láminas de la batalla de Pichincha y recortaba y pegaba en mi cuadernito de hitoria ah que tiempos aquellos!

Di dijo...

jajaja, el Demoño, es lo máximo, tu hijo es una preciosura!!!
Diera la vida por haber visto la cara de la profesora... jajajaja...

Carlos dijo...

Que esperamos mija mientras el MPD siga manejando el magisterio.

...otro mito actual a destruir es el del criminal del Ché Guevara que por poco ya lo llevan a los altares.

Marcelo dijo...

... el MUCHACHO del comentario DEL PERIODICO fue el de PUTA VIDA... SOLO ESPERO QUE ENTRE LOS HEROES QUE TENGA TU HIJO NO ESTE LUCIO GUTIERREZ...PORQUE MIL VECES PREFIERO CREER EN ABDON CALDERON, ACRIBILLADO Y SACANDO LA CARA POR ESTE PAIS, COSA QUE YA CASI NADIE HACE, QUE TENER DE HEROE A CUALQUIER PELAVERGA...NINGUN MITO Y ENTIENDASE EXTREMO ES BUENO... PERO A LA FINAL DE CUENTAS EN QUIEN VA A CREER TU WAWA?

Edd dijo...

Los mitos sirven para fortalecer y consolidar a un grupo humano, entre ellos una nación. Obvio con 15 años y en una batalla te vas a cagar de miedo, yo hasta ahora lo haría, pero en fin, cosas como esas se supone se inventan para unirnos a todos y tener algún ideal de dar la vida por algo, cosa que está bien pasada de moda en estos días. Yo no ´se si comparar a este mito con el de Springfield, recordemos que el pana ese era un criminal, mientras que Abodoncito cagón y todo pero si creo q' uería servir a una Patria libre

|_Bonny_| dijo...

Benja rulz!

Icaro Jr dijo...

En mi profesión vemos como atraves de los años y sus historias, los ganadores se van apropaiando de lo que ellos consideran patrimonio e la comunidad y lo convierten en mito o leyenda... algo así de un telefono roto de la historia que temrina siendo "cierta" a fuerza de repetirla. No sucede solo en Ecuador, en México tambien con la historia de los niños heroésy muy seguramente en Colombia, aun que lo recuerdo en este momento.
Tu demoño se ganó un aplauso.

Yitux dijo...

abdon calderon no fue el que metio el gol con el que clasificamos al mundiaL???

Hernan dijo...

He sabido yo de un historiador serio que el tal Abdon Calderon era marica , descendiente de una linaje de militares .
Pagaron una buena fortuna para lavar el honor de Abdoncito , que si bien es cierto pudo haber muerto ensartado por un buen sable.

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Anónimo dijo...

Tengo entendido que Abdón Calderón nació el 30 de Julio de 1804, si la batalla fue el 24 de Mayo de 1822 , entonces el tendría 18 años. En eso creo yo que Gaby tiene que rectificar, tambien seria mentira esa parte.

Anónimo dijo...

...porque no se va a cagar todos

kadi belen dijo...

buena la de tu peke demoño yo tambien tengo en kasa una demonia que nunka se ha kedado kallada y dice lo que piensa y siente y me siento orgullosa de ser la madre de este pequeño gran demonio llamada karina belen la adoro...!!!

Anónimo dijo...

Abdón Calderón no luchó contra peruanos!!!!!!!!!!!! En la Batalla de Pichincha se enfrentarón el ejército patriota contra los españoles!

Anónimo dijo...

abdon calderon no murio en la batalla murio en un hospital de puras comidas podridas mejor dicho diarritis o diarrea

Anónimo dijo...

La diarrea no causa la muerte, lo que causa la muerte es la deshidratación, a no ser que haya muerto mientras hacía las deposiciones o algo por el estilo. JAJJAJAJA

Srta. escribe la historia está mal informada en muchos datos.

Y sip la educación en el país es malísima, como quiera es pasable lo de Abdón Calderón, pero... El Reino de Quito? Shyris? Cómo rayos tales patrañas se siguen enseñando?

rene velez dijo...

pues tienen razon todos y la verdad es que hay que erradicar lasmentiras historico patrioticas de nuestra historia y asi poder enseñar a nuestros hijos lo que paso en nuestro pasado para que asi ellos lleven con mas orgulllo nuestro tricolor y ojala algun dia les dejen cantar la segunda estrofa de nuestro glorioso cantar patrio super por tu demonio jajaja

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